I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.
“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”
Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.
I love accurate deadpool cosplay gifs.
This is why we need a real R rated Deadpool movie.
Protip: It IS Deadpool. He comes through the fourth wall to go to cons as himself
Fuck this is perfect
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
can we talk about how this is still getting notes
The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.
how do i ask a boy out
roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two
OH MY GOD NO
twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car
row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream
I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory
Girls, romanticize yourselves. You are a queen. You are a warrior. You are an enchantress. You are a mermaid. You are a goddess. You are all of these things and more, you are the stuff of fairytales.
Women, traumatize others. You are a dragon. You are a wolf. You are a bump in the night. You are the last thing they see in the darkness. You are all of these things and more, you are the heart of their fucking nightmares.
I am all of these things.
The question I’m asked most often as a defense attorney is whether I can tell if my clients are innocent or guilty.
I don’t care.
if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious
Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you.
Read it over.
Let those words resonate in your mind.
Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.
SOMEONE SAID IT
That time Peter Parker was trained by Natasha Romanoff.
It’s a spider thing
It’s a spider thing
Don’t you love how Peter can do it with his calves but Natasha has to use her inner thighs. This whole equality thing is great.
Thighs are stronger than calves, and you can get a tighter grip, as well as have a higher chance of breaking things. Peter was intending to disarm, Natasha was ready to kill. Natasha is a trained assassin, and Peter is a student who works for a newspaper.
Given their backgrounds and experiences, it would be UNequal to have Peter using skills and disarming tactics that Natasha was trained to do so.
So yes, this whole equality thing is great.
This post is brilliant.
also peter has bALLS OK you dont want to SLAM YOUR FUCKING TESTICLES into someons fucking SKULL
Reblogging for last comment. Laughing for 3257865 years